like the sun needs a world to shine on
by electricheartz
Summary: Austin's losing his vision and doesn't know how to tell Ally, so he breaks it off with her without a logical explanation. Ally eventually finds out the truth. / "He can't tell her the truth though. He couldn't hold her back from her dreams. If his career dwindles because of his eyesight, he's not going to take Ally down with him." Auslly AU. TWO-SHOT
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi! :D It's :D 4:00am :D here :D and I :D am very tired! :D**

 **I think I've read this like 3488573 times but I bet there's still something wrong :)**

 **I hope you enjoy it, even though it's kind of sad. Also, it's not 100% medically accurate. The eye condition mentioned does exist though.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise.**

* * *

 **part i**

He notices there's something funny going on with his eyes.

Small, dark patches are present on random places in his line of vision. It's as if he had some dust in his eye, but can't rub it all out, even when he makes sure his contact lenses are clean. Looking in the mirror, it doesn't seem like there's anything wrong from the outside. He decides to book an appointment with the ophthalmologist, thinking it's nothing they _can't_ treat.

He doesn't let Ally know where he's going, just so she doesn't get worried.

* * *

It turns out to be something called _choroideremia_. The doctor tells him that it's a rare hereditary eye condition which would've started off as night vision blindness and short-sightedness.

(Now he understands why he relied on his ladybug nightlight so often.)

The young doctor, Piper – who insists he call her on first name basis – continues, informing him that it will result in a slow, progressive loss of vision which will eventually lead to full blindness in his 50's, or if he's lucky, maybe in his 60's.

There's no treatment, but at least he doesn't need to worry too much about it now. Piper assures him that those patches clouding parts of his eye will not grow bigger any time soon.

He decides not to mention his condition to Ally because there's nothing to worry about until he's fifty, which is _ages_ away from now.

* * *

Oh how wrong the doctor is.

He notices the patches have slowly, but noticeably become bigger, and the next time he visits the specialist a month later, Piper tells him some unexpected news.

He has _three_ months at most.

Three months before he fully _loses_ his vision.

He can't fully comprehend what's going on. It's like the information hasn't settled in his mind yet.

He looks at Piper, most of her face appearing in his line of vision. A small blurry dot lines up with the side of her nose, and he tries to imagine what she'd look like with a nose piercing. He ignores that part of his strange mind, and furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"But, uh, didn't you tell me before that I wouldn't lose my sight until after fifty?"

"I did. But loss of vision occurs at different rates in different people and unfortunately we couldn't precisely predict when you'd lose yours. The earliest we've seen is at forty years of age. I'm afraid your situation just happens to be an _extremely_ rare case. Because of that reason, you need to visit me once a week for a check-up, just in case it becomes worse."

Austin ends up blocking everything else. He doesn't notice Piper apologising, nor does he see her pitiful smile.

He's becoming _blind_.

He knows that soon, he won't be able to see anything. Not his friends, not his family, not his world, not his _Ally_.

* * *

He comes home, and luckily Ally hasn't come back from her recording studio yet. He walks into their bedroom, slamming the door shut.

There's a short space of silence before a distressed scream escapes his lips. He pushes over the closest thing to him, the tall lamp, not caring if it breaks.

Why is this happening to _him_? What had he done to deserve this?

He moves on to swipe off whatever's on the dresser, the bottles of perfume and cologne shattering on the floor. He doesn't even take notice of the fragrance that they emit.

Why is he going blind, especially now, when everything is absolutely fine? His relationship with Ally is great, he's currently peaking number one on the charts, the film Dez had him act in was successful – why did it have to come crashing down with just one diagnosis?

Why had nothing been found sooner?

Why is there no treatment?

Why, why, _why_?

His eyes are blurry with tears when the blond targets whatever's on his bedside table, and by the time he realises what he's broken, it's too late. He crouches down and picks up the photo, carefully clearing away whatever broken glass sticks to it.

It's the photo of him and Ally from their prom. He remembers the night as if it had happened yesterday. He'd been so mesmerised by the sight of her; she'd looked so _beautiful_ in that red dress. There was no other girl who had shined brighter than her that night.

He's so lucky to have her, he thinks. He remembers how she'd been by his side every step of the way when he'd temporarily lost his career. If she'd done that, what would she do if she found out about his oncoming blindness?

How was he going to break the news to her?

* * *

She comes back to their apartment, realising that Austin's already home. He's nowhere in the lounge room, and he's not in the kitchen, so she decides to check their bedroom.

She makes her way to their room, noticing the door is closed. She slowly opens the door.

"Hey, Au-" she freezes when she sees the state of their room.

Their belongings are scattered across the floor and there's a strange smell in the air. The lamp her aunt gave her has a huge crack in it (though to be honest, she never really liked it anyway), her makeup products are strewn either on the dresser or beneath it, and there's pieces of glass on the floor too.

And there, on the bed, burying his head in his pillow, is her boyfriend. Austin, hearing her voice, sits up, turning around to face her.

Ally notices the redness around his eyes. Had he been crying?

She carefully navigates herself towards him, making sure not to step on any pieces of glass.

"Austin, are you okay?"

Austin hastily rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. She notices his hesitation, before he speaks. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She moves to sit down on the bed next to him, and lies her hand on his arm. "Austin, the room is a mess and it's clear that you've been crying. You're definitely upset about something. Please, you know you can tell me _anything_."

"Really, Ally, it's-"

"Please, Austin…"

"It's- alright- fine, it's just about an argument I had with my parents. It just got me _so_ worked up."

Something about the way he says this makes Ally believe that Austin isn't telling her the truth. She thinks that there's definitely more to this than him just arguing with his parents. They've known each other for almost 7 years, not to mention they'd been dating for 3 of those years, and this wasn't including the times they'd dated and broken up when they were still in high school. Austin has never destroyed a room like this in the years she's known him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shrugs. "Not really. Actually, now that I think about it, it's not that important now that I've calmed down."

Just as she's about to ask Austin more questions, he suddenly leaps off the bed, tugging at Ally's hand.

"Anyway, I am _starving_! Let's get something eat!" The blond grins widely, and while it seems like Austin is back to himself, Ally has a feeling that there is still something bothering his mind. She decides to let him off today – Austin would eventually talk to her if there was really something wrong, right?

* * *

That night, as they get into bed (after clearing the mess Austin had made), Austin catches her off guard.

"I love you." It's not that he hasn't said it before, but it's the way he says it with such intensity.

"And I love you. What is this about, Austin?"

"Nothing. I just want to say it to you every opportunity I get."

She shuffles a bit, turning to face him. "Wait, what do you mean? Austin…are you okay? You're scaring me."

"No, I'm just saying, 'cause, you know, life's short, and we have no idea what will happen in the future. I was thinking about us, and how lucky I am to have you, and I just want you to know that it'll always be you. And if I ever do anything to hurt you, or if, somehow, there's a crack in our relationship, please remember that I'll always love you."

"Austin, I-"

"Shh, let's just enjoy this moment."

She wants to question him further, but he interrupts with a short, chaste kiss on her lips, before he snakes his arms around her and then shuts his eyes. She still wants to say something, but seeing the peaceful smile on his face makes her decide that she'll just bring it up later.

He embraces her in such a strong grip, as if he's afraid that Ally will disappear.

But no, Austin has nothing to worry about.

She's not going anywhere.

* * *

From that day, Austin's back to normal. Well, kind of. It's like the crying incident never happened, though she hasn't forgotten what he said that night, and can't help but feel like something's not right, although she doesn't know how to bring it up.

She observes him when he thinks she's not looking and notices him look upset or frustrated with himself. Sometimes he doesn't not pay attention to whatever they're doing at that moment and Ally has to snap him back to reality. (And not to mention, when they're with Dez and Trish and she's in a conversation with one of the two, she'll catch him with her peripheral vision starring at her for significant periods of time, as if trying to engrain her in his memory.)

She knows his mind is still occupied with whatever secret he's hiding, but whenever she asks him what's up, he tells her it's nothing and even though she tries to get something out of him, sometimes, instead of pushing him, she stops because she doesn't want to see him angrier or more hurt than he already seems.

But she constantly tells herself that she _needs_ to figure out the secret that's been causing his change of behaviour soon.

* * *

It goes on for the next 2 weeks and she finally has enough. She asks herself why she hasn't acted sooner, but it's better late than never, right? Since Austin's currently out, Ally decides to give him a call, just to check up on him. She really wants to talk to him about what's been going on, and this time, she won't take no for an answer.

She calls him, waiting as the dial tone comes on, though after the fourth ring, it reaches voicemail. She finds it a bit unusual because he usually picks up before the third ring. She tries again a few more times, and after reaching the same thing, she gives up.

Maybe he was currently recording a song and couldn't answer his phone? Austin had told her he would be recording a few songs today, including a duet with Cassidy (which she doesn't mind because she trusts them both not to do anything of _that_ sort).

She decides to ring Cassidy.

She picks up after two rings.

"Hey, Ally!"

"Cass? Are you in the studio right now?"

"Yeah, just about to record something...why?"

"Is Austin with you?"

"No, he left like two hours ago, saying that he was going home...is there something wrong?"

"Oh, no, don't worry, I thought he was with you." She smiles hesitantly, even though she knows she can't see her.

"Well, anyway, got to go. Bye." She puts the phone down before Cassidy can get a word in.

So had Austin been lying to her?

Where was he really?

She's not so sure she can tolerate Austin being secretive about everything. Of course there are a few things they'd keep from each other because no one tells everyone everything (heck, she doesn't even tell Trish everything – especially when it comes to her and Austin's _sexual_ activities) and she didn't want to be perceived as that nosy, jealous type of girlfriend, but if her boyfriend's attitude had somewhat changed during the last two weeks, then she deserves to know why, right?

Which is why when Austin finally comes back home, she decides to confront him.

She's sitting on the couch when the door opens.

"Hey Ally." Austin puts his bag down and makes his way over to the couch, sitting beside her, their shoulders and legs in contact with each other.

"Where were you?" She asks softly.

"I was with Cassidy at the recording studio. Why?"

"I called her. She said she wasn't with you."

He stands up abruptly and looks at her in surprise, before she sees his hazel eyes swirl with betrayal.

"You called her? What, so you don't even trust me now?!"

She slowly gets up from the couch, maintaining eye contact with him. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You've been acting really weird ever since _that_ day and I want to know what the heck is going on."

"There was no need for that. I'm fine." Austin says, though Ally isn't convinced.

"Have you _seen_ yourself? You haven't seemed yourself lately. You may not have realised, but I _do_ see you when you think I'm not looking. I can tell there's something on your mind, and I don't think it's about your parents. Just tell me, please!"

"There's really nothing-"

"Don't you lie to me, Austin!"

"Why can't you trust me?"

"I do trust you! Why can't you trust _me_? Why would you need to lie about where you are?"

Austin closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose before letting out an exasperated sigh. When he opens them again, he looks straight into her eyes, and he says something that causes her to freeze. "Look, you know what? If we can't get over this, let's just end it."

* * *

"…Austin what are you saying?"

The pained look on her face almost makes him look away, but he can't quit his act now.

"It's like you can't trust me enough not to tell you certain things. I don't _want_ you to know. Stop pushing me to tell you. It doesn't concern you, okay? I'm _tired_ , Ally."

He tries to keep his eyes focused on her, ignoring the voice in the back of his mind that's screaming for him to stop what he's doing and just tell her the truth.

"This is it, huh? We're actually doing this…wow. What, so you'd throw away our relationship just because of this one secret? I'm sorry that I've been pushing you because I'm been _worried_ about you!"

The air becomes tense with silence and he tries to come up with something else to say that'll probably make her more upset, but it looks like he doesn't need to say anything else.

Tears have built up in her eyes, one falling down her face as she suddenly says, "You know what? Fine, we'll stop this. You won't see me again, Austin. I'm out."

He releases a bitter chuckle under his breath. Oh, the _irony_ of that statement.

"I'll have Dez bring you all your stuff."

She nods curtly and heads to the door, uttering one last phrase.

"Good bye, Austin."

Once the door slams shut, he slumps back on the couch, cupping his face in his hands. Soon, his shoulders are shaking and he finds himself in a sobbing mess.

He's done it. She probably hates him now, or at least is upset with him.

He'd planned on breaking up with her sometime next week, but she'd given him a good opportunity. Doing it now would lessen the pain that he'd experience if he chose to break up with her later. He bets he might have backed out and told her the truth if he held onto her for any longer.

He can't tell her the truth though. He couldn't hold her back from her dreams. If his career dwindles because of his eyesight, he's not going to take Ally down with him.

Austin had already held her back once when she gave up her place at MUNY; he can't do it to her again, because he knows that as soon as he tells her what's wrong with him, she'll drop everything to look after him.

He knows that she still loves him, but he also loves her, so, _so_ much, that this is the only way.

He has to let her go.

* * *

Trish and Dez let her stay at their apartment after comforting her about what had happened that day. However, she doesn't want to intrude on their relationship (which she still sometimes thinks is really _peculiar_ because they used to _hate_ each other's guts), so she decides that she'll stay until she can find another apartment to rent.

The next day, Dez brings back some boxes, containing all her items from their- Austin's apartment. When she thinks he's brought them all, he carries in one last box which she notices he's slightly hesitant to give her. She looks at him curiously.

"Uh, this is from Austin." He says, before leaving her to her own thoughts.

She opens the box, and finds that it's filled with items she'd given Austin. The songbook she'd given him when he was still having difficulty writing his own songs sits on top. She flips the pages, hoping that he'd written her some note, anything that can suggest that he still wants to be with her. She's left disappointed when she can't find anything that wasn't already there – many scribbles and crossed out words from attempts of writing his own lyrics. He'd barely used it anyway.

She continues to look through the box, and doesn't realise her eyes are watery until a tear escapes. She quickly wipes her eyes before Trish or Dez come in and see. She doesn't want to bother them with her heartache. They've already done enough for her.

After having taken all the items out of the box, she goes to put them back in, and as she's doing that, she realises something: Dougie the Dolphin, the stuffed animal that she'd given him when they were fourteen, is nowhere to be seen.

* * *

A week later, she still can't find an apartment she's satisfied with, though Dez and Trish had kept insisting that they didn't mind her staying.

They're eating breakfast, and as Dez chirps about his new film, her mind wanders off, and she finds herself thinking about Austin. She misses his embraces. She misses the kisses he'd planted on her. She misses his voice. She misses him, so, _so_ much with every inch of her heart.

She still doesn't understand why he'd become so angry with her.

She knows that she shouldn't have pressured him to tell her what was on his mind, but it's not like she could have ignored it if she tried. The break up was so sudden, and she considers maybe, after having this whole week to calm down, they can talk it out. She still remembers what he'd told her that other night; perhaps he'd known something like this would happen. She knows deep down that they still love each other.

She'd tried to call him a few days after their breakup, but received no reply, and after trying again today, he still refuses to answer her calls, so she decides the best thing to do is visit him and actually see him face to face.

* * *

Ally stands nervously in front of his door. After a few minutes of contemplating whether this is a good idea, she knocks on the door, waiting for an answer.

It's a while before the door opens, only it's not Austin who greets her. A young, _gorgeous_ blonde appears in front of her, poking her head out of the door, and she wonders if Austin had somehow moved on.

"Hi, how can I help you?" The woman asks, and she finds her words stuck in her throat. If Austin's with this woman, she's not so sure that she can stop herself from breaking down right there.

"...i-is Austin here?"

"You mean the previous owner? Sorry, I only moved in yesterday, not sure what happened to this Austin."

Her mind screams a relieved ' _oh thank god',_ glad that there's still a chance that Austin _hasn't_ moved on yet. But she can't help but frown, because she has still no idea where he could be.

"Oh, I see. Well, thank you." She says politely, and the woman nods, offering her what looks like a sympathetic smile, before closing the door.

She thinks to herself, where could he have gone? Maybe back to his parents' house? There's one place Austin should still be though - Starr Records, right?

* * *

She heads over to the building, seeing Cassidy walk out. She's looking up from her phone as Ally walks toward her.

"Ally! I was about to call you!"

"Hey, Cass. You didn't happen to see Austin here, did you?"

"Ally...he hasn't turned up in like, forever. I asked Kira, but she had no idea what was happening. That's what I've been meaning to call you about."

That wasn't like Austin at all. Why would he not turn up?

"I haven't spoken to him for a while, we kind of...b-broke up."

"Oh my god, Ally, I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay...I'm okay. I-I think I'll get going though." She smiles sadly at Cassidy, receiving her second sympathetic gesture for the day.

* * *

She goes back to Dez and Trish's apartment, where Trish and Dez are currently sitting on the sofa. When they notice her presence, Trish pats the spot next to her, and she thankfully sits down, leaning into her friend.

"He wasn't there, someone else opened the door saying that he moved out, and apparently he hasn't turned up to Starr Records either, "she mutters miserably, before she feels herself becoming frustrated, "I don't understand him! He never explained anything! We had one fight, and he decided it was all over! I mean, I know I walked out on him that day, but we've had fights before and we usually sort them out, so what the heck is wrong with him?"

"Wait, he's moved out? How? It's only been a week. Dez, did you know about this?" Trish glares at her boyfriend.

"...maybe," the redhead mumbles.

She moves out of Trish's embrace, craning her neck to look at him. "Wait, do you know why he moved out? Do you know where he's staying now?"

She's desperate for an answer. She wants to know that he's okay. Was his heart aching like hers? Maybe she has nothing to worry about. Or maybe he was fine without her. Maybe-

"I do, but…" Ally stares at him expectantly, while Dez tries to ignore the intensified glare Trish has given him.

"Dez, tell us right now where he is..." Trish demands.

"I...I can't! I really can't! He made me promise him not to tell anyone. You know I always keep my promises. Please don't make this harder."

Trish expression softens at Dez's distress.

Ally speaks up, "But he's okay, right?"

She takes note of his hesitation. "…yes, he's alright."

"C-Can you ask him why he's ignoring me though? He refuses to answer me, and I honestly feel so lost. I don't understand why he'd break up with me out of the blue over something like this. Please Dez..."

"I'll see what I can do." She knows it's a long shot, but she hopes that Dez will be able to help.

* * *

He still lives in the same apartment. The day that Ally came over, he'd had Piper come over too. He'd been deemed legally blind and was given the option of either relying on someone to take him to the specialist, or have her come over. He'd chosen the latter, not wanting to bother Dez with his issues.

Knowing that it was Ally who'd knocked on his door, he'd begged Piper to answer the door and pretend that he was no longer living there.

Only Dez and Kira know about his eyes. He's not even ready to tell his parents yet. When Kira called him up, just over a week since the breakup, he's forced to tell her the truth when he realised that he couldn't get to the studio without looking suspicious. Besides, he would have had to tell her sooner or later, when he completely becomes blind and can't make it to the building by himself. Kira had promised not to tell anyone else in the meantime.

And he'd told Dez when he'd come by and picked up Ally's belongings. The redhead had confronted him, asking him why he'd broken up with the _love of his life_ , and that was when he'd broken down and confessed _everything_. He had to tell someone. He knows he can trust Dez, but he'd made him promise not to tell Ally, threatening not to talk to him ever again if he spoke a word to her about his state.

He's painfully aware that it's nearly time before he becomes completely blind.

The blond sighs sadly when he realises there's still so much of the earth that he has yet to explore, knowing that it's _impossible_ now. Of course he's seen a lot of sights during his world tours – the Eifel Tower, the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and many others – but there's so much more that he'll never get to see now.

He tries to take in as much of everything he can still see, his apartment, the beautiful view outside, what Ally looks like...

He's currently looking at old photographs of them, trying to engrain every inch of her face in his mind. He's certain that he will be able to visualise her in his mind when he closes his eyes, but he just wants to cherish these images of his _world_ before it's all too late.

* * *

Six weeks later, Austin starts having headaches. By that time, his eye sight's almost gone – there are a few fuzzy holes he can see through, but he has to strain his eyes to see everything.

Dez comes over that day and luckily he's there, because as he stands up from the couch to get something, the pain in his head becomes intolerable. It's so extreme that he eventually faints.

* * *

He wakes up, hearing strange beeping noises.

He groans because he still feels a slight headache.

A familiar voice exclaims in relief. "Austin, you're awake!"

"Dez? Where am I?"

"You're at the hospital. You fainted."

He faces the direction the voice comes from. "Can you, uh, turn on the light? I can't see anything."

There's a heavy pause before Dez speaks. "Austin…it's daylight..."

He starts to panic. So all of his vision is gone? He knows it was bound to happen one of these days, but it doesn't mean that he was one-hundred percent prepared.

"I-" His breathing rate increases as he realises that this is it. He can't see anything anymore. He'll never see anything ever again.

"Austin-"

"I'm going to live in the d-dark for the r-rest of my life! I don't know w-what to do!"

He feels a hand firmly grip onto his shaking one, Dez's voice calming him down. "Breathe, Austin, Deep breaths. I'm here buddy."

"I'm scared, Dez...we won't even be able to do our handshake properly...nothing will ever be the same." he utters once his breathing is back to normal.

"I know. But you'll get through this. And who says we can't still do it? You're _Austin Moon_. You'll always find a way."

Yet his mind objects. _'Maybe not this time.'_

* * *

Dez never managed to slip a word out of Austin about their fight. It's about eight weeks since she'd last seen the blond, and although she still thinks about how he's been doing, she tells herself that if he's going to cut ties with her, she needs to move on.

' _One more week'_ , her heart begs.

She'd been occupying herself by visiting the recording studio and staying for longer hours, although today it's different – she finds herself being taken to the hospital.

On her way to record her latest song, another car had decided to drive the opposite direction, and while she had good reflexes and managed to avoid a full-on collision, the car still crashed slightly into her side causing the airbag to inflate and hit her head. Despite the fact that she thought she was fine (although slightly dazed), the paramedics had decided to take her to the nearest hospital just to be sure.

A few form fillings later, she's given the okay and finally she can leave.

She walks out of the room, bumping into someone.

"Eeek, sorry." She apologises, before she looks up, eyes widening at the familiar face.

* * *

 **A/N: Who is it?**

 **Next/final chapter will be up sometime after I wake up! Well, I just need to fix a few things, but yeah :D I promise no one dies!**

 **Also, I know A &A's ending in like 3 days (/screams/ NOOOOOOOOOO), but it is too late to make friends with anyone in the twitter fandom?**

 **I'm there as rnoonlights (like r and n, not an 'm')! :D I'm not new to twitter btw; this one's just specifically for this fandom and I'm slowly starting to use it, haha.**

 **If anyone actually follows it, I'll follow back when I wake up in like 12 hours, haha...zzZZZzzZ night!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi hi hi! :D Sorry for the delay, my laptop froze -_- Anyway, oooh, fun fact: one of the scenes in this story is inspired by the cover photo I've used! (if you can't see it, it's Austin hugging Dougie the Dolphin!)**

 **Also, I apologise for not including much of Trish in this story ;-;**

 **Comment replies:**

 **LoveShipper: I know, I wouldn't know what to do if I were in his position ;-; and yep, she's definitely finding out like now!**

 **Rauslly-and-Percabeth-Rock: Ahh, I'm sorry for making you cry! ;-; This story is the result of me looking up medical conditions late at night for an assignment. But eee, thank you!**

 **tslodforever1: Hehe, here's the next chapter! and thank you very much! :)**

 **Anyway, enjoy the final chapter (even though it's a bit more emotional than the last one)!**

* * *

 **Warnings: some depressing thoughts in one bit; um, a bit of cussing (like two mentions tbh).**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own recognisable things, okay.**

* * *

Previously:

 _She walks out of the room, bumping into someone._

" _Eeek, sorry." She apologises, before she looks up, eyes widening at the familiar face._

* * *

 **part ii**

"Dez?"

"Ally!" Dez says in surprise, his expression mirroring hers, "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to get my head checked for a concussion. But anyway, what are _you_ doing here?"

"Uhh, visiting my brother?" He says this as if uncertain with his answer and she takes note of him wringing his hands.

"Dez, you don't have a brother."

"Um, my sister, I meant my sister!"

"But isn't she in New York?" She narrows her eyes at him. "Dez, who are you _really_ seeing?"

She doesn't know why it's her business to ask, but she still feels like she needs to know. Why did Dez need to lie?

Why was everybody keeping secrets from her?

"I...I-" a panicked expression crosses his face when he looks at her expectant gaze, before he sighs in defeat. "It's Austin."

Her large eyes swirl with confusion as she furrows her eyebrows. "W-what? What's wrong with him?"

"He's...well...I'm not supposed to be doing this, but...do you want to see?"

She nods slowly, still not sure how to feel. But one thing she _does_ know is that her plan of getting over the blond just went out the window. Her heart is already pacing rapidly at the thought of seeing him again.

"But you can only stand near the door, okay? When you see him, promise me that you won't make a sound? Literally, don't say anything at all. Don't let him know that you're _here_."

She's becoming more confused by the second. "Dez, what's going on? You're not making any sense."

"You'll find out soon. Just don't let him hear your voice," He looks at her, a pleading expression etched on his face.

" _Please,_ Ally. He didn't want you to know." Is this the major secret he'd been hiding? Is she finally about to discover what's going on and what had led to their breakup?

"Fine," she speaks softly, "I promise."

* * *

A. MOON

That's what the little plaque-like thing on the door says, shattering her idea that it's only a dream – or maybe a nightmare, depending on what happens in that room.

She's actually _seeing_ him for the first time in eight weeks.

Dez opens the door, gesturing without a word for Ally to wait beside it.

And there he is. Lying in the bed, probably listening to music – judging by the earbud in one of his ears – is Austin. He looks perfectly fine, so why was he here? She wants to call out to him, scream at him, ask him why he ended their relationship, though she manages to stop herself, remembering what Dez had told her.

Austin sits up from his bed, though one thing she notices is that he's looking straight ahead, as if he can't grasp where his friend is.

"Dez?" His eyes dart around the room, and she sees his confused expression when he looks directly at her, though not _exactly_. He doesn't seem to actually _notice_ her, or maybe he's ignoring her existence? Is he pretending that he can't _see_ her?

Ally frowns. She'd expected some sort of reaction, but not _that_.

"I'm here." Austin turns his head towards Dez's voice and as she observes him reaching his hand out to feel Dez's already outstretched hand, that's when she realises, he _really_ can't see.

She doesn't know what to think. How? What? Since when? Why?

His soft voice interrupts her thoughts. "How are things?" he asks.

Dez begins to talk about whatever's been happening in his life since the last time they talked – because she assumes he's been at the hospital for some time – while looking at Ally hesitantly every now and then.

She's starring at Austin, still trying to come to terms with what's going on, when she hears the mention of her name come out of his lips.

"How's Ally?"

Dez freezes for a moment, looking at Ally worriedly before speaking up.

"Um, things have been fine with her. She's been recording a few songs. Her latest album's rising up, and I think it's just under yours in the charts!"

Austin smiles at this, and Ally can't help but tear up.

He still _cares._

"…and does she still mention me?" He asks in a small voice.

Dez averts his eyes back to her. "She does. A lot. She misses you, you know."

"I miss her too, Dez, just as much, if not more. She can't know about this though."

"Austin-"

"Try to make her forget about me. Please, Dez. Introduce her to...I don't know, one of our other friends. Just tell her I don't…l-love her anymore so she can stop thinking about me."

She wants so badly to scream at him for trying to push her away, but once again stops herself.

"I can't promise you that, Austin. She still loves you. Do you really think she'd get over you that easily?"

He sighs. "I know. I just hope she'll be able to move on soon."

(Oh how wrong Austin is.)

* * *

Once they come out of his room, closing the door, she demands answers from the redhead.

It turns out that he has some condition called choroideremia.

"Apparently full blindness occurs around late adulthood, but Austin's case was different. His eye sight seemed to deteriorate faster than usual." Dez murmurs sadly, and suddenly the constant starring she'd received from Austin before they broke up makes sense.

"Is there a cure?" There has to be one, there just has to be. Austin can't live like this, he-

"There isn't, Ally. That's probably why he didn't want you knowing. He's gonna live in darkness for the rest of his life, Ally. He doesn't want you having to help him forever."

"But I love him, Dez. Something like this won't push me away so easily! I'm going back in there right now!" She heads to open the door, but feels Dez grab her wrist.

"Please, Ally. He doesn't want you to know. At least not yet. He's still trying to wrap his own head around his condition, so please don't do anything drastic yet. He wouldn't want to face you right now."

She thinks about it for a minute, knowing that he's right. However, she knows she can't stay away from him now. If he doesn't want her to know about this for her own good, she'll hide something from him too. This will be for _his_ own good.

"Alright. I'll make you a deal. I won't say a word to him, as long as you let me come with you every time you visit him. I promise I'll always keep quiet when I'm in there."

"Ally, you can't-"

"Dez, please. I need to see that he'll be okay. If I don't get to see him after this, I'll never be able to sleep peacefully at night, knowing that he'll always be living in a world without light. As long as I can see him, I'll be h-happy." She tries to blink back her oncoming tears as her voice cracks at the end.

"I don't- okay, Ally, you can see him, just don't make any noise in front of him."

"Yes, yes, I won't! Thank you so much, Dez, this really means a lot!" Ally cries, and Dez pulls her into a hug, not seeming to mind as she wets his shirt with her tears.

* * *

She continues to visit him with Dez throughout the whole week. Dez had also made sure to inform anyone near Austin's room to specifically not let Austin know anything about Ally's presence. And even though it's _technically_ a breach of patient privacy, she had told them about her relationship with Austin, about their argument, and – with help from Dez – had somewhat convinced them to let her visit him.

(To her relief, she also finds out that the gorgeous blonde she'd seen at Austin's apartment those few weeks ago is in fact just his ophthalmologist.)

There are close calls though. One time, Austin says some things that seem to upset her, ("Dez, do you think life's worth living now without light?" is one of them), causing her to run out with an audible gasp. As Austin looks in her direction in suspicion, Dez manages to cover it up by telling him that the cleaner spilled something and gasped. And luck seemed to be on their side as one of the cleaners is actually present, manages to back up Dez's excuse, and Austin is somehow convinced.

That visit ends with Dez encouraging Austin to never lose hope in life, and the blond apologising for having voiced such thoughts, insisting that they were just spur-of-the-moment and that he never meant to upset anyone.

* * *

The next time she visits Austin, she doesn't come along with Dez. She hadn't planned on telling Dez about this visit, so she decides she needs to be extra careful. Dez usually visits Austin during the afternoon, and currently it was still the morning, so she has plenty of time to stick around without him knowing.

She opens the door and closes it behind her, to see Austin sat up in his bed, again with an earbud stuck in his ear.

He turns his direction toward the door, taking out the earbud.

"Dez? Nurse Alice?"

She stands by the door, and waits with bated breath.

After a while, he shrugs. "Must've been the wind or something..." he mumbles before putting back in his earbud.

She continues to observe him, quietly moving closer, but not near enough for him to feel her presence. Several questions spring up in her mind.

What happens after he leaves the hospital?

Is he destined to be looked after by old nurses for the rest of his life?

What happens to his career? Wouldn't the fans eventually have to know the truth?

Why had only Dez known? She wasn't even sure if Mike and Mimi knew.

But what she does know is that he doesn't deserve this. He's at an age where he should be living his life, travelling around the world, not stuck here in Miami.

She understands why he hadn't told her about his sight – after all, she probably would've done the same if she were in his position. But it doesn't matter now. She wants to tell him to screw what he says – she's staying by his side whether he likes it or not, because she loves him, because like the sun needs a world to shine on, she needs Austin in her life because _he_ is her world.

She hears him sigh, grabbing for what she realises is his phone. He double clicks the home button and presses the top of the screen; she guesses that he probably paused the song he was listening to.

"It's _that_ song." He murmurs.

She moves dangerously closer, careful not to make a sound, and catches a glimpse of the album art.

She knows what song it is. It's the one that they sang together when she got over her stage fright. It was all thanks to _him_ that she was able to overcome her fear. She can't believe he still has their older songs on his phone.

He feels for something on his bed and pulls out what she recognises as Dougie the Dolphin (which she assumes is the only thing he's kept to remind him of her).

"You're all I have, Dougie. I mean, well, besides Dez. I guess Sargent Bearington and the others too. I mean, how long will it be before Dez leaves me? I know he's my best friend, but I can't hold him down from his future. Though you'll still be here, right?"

He cuddles the stuffed toy securely in his arms, bringing it close to his face for comfort and she wants to tear up at the sight because he looks so lost, so _vulnerable_.

"How weird would it be if someone walked by and saw me, a _twenty-one_ year old, talking to a stuffed animal like you? They'd probably think I'm insane! But whatever.

"You know, I'm getting out of here soon, which is great, because the food here is _horrible_. No offence to the chefs here. I mean, I guess their pancakes aren't _too_ bad."

A watery smiles spreads across her face. Of course he'd comment about the pancakes. Typical Austin.

What Austin conveys to the toy next makes her more emotional than she already is.

"But they're not as good as the ones at IHOP...or the ones that Ally make," he smiles sadly as he reminisces, "ah, I remember the five foot one she made me..."

She remembers it too.

(She also remembers the time he bought that necklace for her.)

(Actually, she's wearing it right now.)

"I wonder how she's doing now. Do you think she misses me, Dougie? I still miss her. I haven't heard from her for _ages_ , but I guess that's my fault. Dez told me that she's actually moving on. I wonder if she still loves me as much as I still love her," his voice drifts off sadly, before it changes to a cheerier tone, "You know what? I'm glad that Ally can move on and not worry about silly me."

' _No, you idiot, I'm still here, I still love you!'_ she wants to scream.

But then he chuckles bitterly, and she notices one of his hands are clenched tightly. "I was too cowardly to tell her the real truth! I wonder if she hates me. Do you think she hates me, Dougie? I mean, I broke up with her without any logical reason, I haven't answered her calls, I refused to face her when she came knocking on my door and _pretended_ that I wasn't living there. It was never my intention to make Ally hate me, though I guess it'll be easier for her to distance herself that way."

She desperately wishes to call out to him, to tell him that she doesn't hate him at all; that she's still here for him.

"I probably have to keep explaining why I pushed her away, but this is the only method. She can't stay with someone blind! She doesn't have to know about my condition, because knowing her, she would stay by my side and then she wouldn't be able to grow in her music career and then- and then, it would be my f-fault." His voice breaks at the end as he blinks back his tears.

That's the last straw for Ally, who, with one hand clamped over her mouth, tries to run out, but – curse her clumsiness – she slips to the floor and knocks something over.

She freezes.

Austin picks up on the noise, hurriedly wiping away his tears. "Who's there?"

Ally tries to keep quiet, keeping her hand over her mouth as she stills in her position on the floor.

Unfortunately, Austin's adamant that he knows someone's here.

* * *

"Tell me. Who are you? I know someone's in here..."

Silence.

He's _so_ sure that there's someone in here. It's terrible enough that his eyesight's gone – he better not be losing his mind either.

"Someone is in here, I know it! Don't mock me, I'm fucking blind, not stupid!"

No response, yet he can now definitely hear the person's breathing become erratic.

Austin flicks the covers off himself, and swings his legs out, ready to hop off the bed. Even though he's blind, it doesn't mean that he can't use his other senses. "If you don't tell me who you are right now, I swear, I'll get out of this bed and-"

"It's m-me."

He freezes.

No.

It can't be her.

"…Ally?"

Maybe he really _was_ losing his mind. It can't be her, it just can't-

"Y-Yes."

The confirmation causes his mind to panic. How does she know where he is? How _long_ has she known?

After a significant period of silence, he begins to speak calmly, trying to make sure that his voice doesn't waver. He can't let her know how he's feeling. "You're not supposed to be here. How much did you hear?"

His heart clenches at the sound of her sniffles, and if he wasn't trying to maintain his indifferent composure, he would be comforting her now.

"A-All of it. W-well, everything you've said since you asked Dez a-about me earlier this week."

He can't help but voice his surprise. He's going to have a word with Dez the next time to visits. "So you've known for a while now? Did Dez-"

"No, don't blame him…I forced it out of him." Honestly, he should've expected that. But all he's thinking about right now is that she _cannot_ be here.

"You…you didn't have the right to know. You need to leave now, Ally…"

"No, I know the t-truth now, Austin. And I obviously heard e-everything just then. I still lo-"

He knows what she's about to say, but he can't let her finish. That would mean accepting her back into his life, and he can't keep her here. She has to move on. So with a stoic expression, he tells her, "Get out."

"Austin, p-please..."

"I said get out. I'll even call someone if you don't leave now."

"No, Austin! You don't get to decide for me!"

"What-" He hears a shuffle of movement until he senses a small weight beside him on the bed, and suddenly feels a small hand grab hold of his large one. His breath hitches at her touch, and even though he tries to resist, he finds himself automatically entwining his fingers together with hers.

"I am _not_ leaving you! Not now, not ever. Looks like you're stuck with me." He spots a hint of cheekiness in her voice at the end.

He misses his stubborn Ally so much, and no matter how hard he tries to maintain his façade, he just can't do it. His eyes begin to water and he finds soon himself in a blubbering mess.

"No, Ally, you c-can't stay here- you can't, you can't- you can't see me like this, y-you-" his mind tells him to _stop fucking crying_ , but his heart isn't listening, "you can't be here, Ally. I'm blind. I'm basically _useless_ now. Don't stay with me. Be free."

"Austin, I d-don't care if you're blind! Heck, I wouldn't even care if you were mute, or if you lost the use of your legs. It doesn't make me love you any less, Austin! You wouldn't be able to push me away if you tried.

"And you aren't useless, Austin! You may have lost your sight, but you can still perform, you can still make music! There are plenty of people who can live their previous lives without their vision. They just need some help along the way…"

He tries to wipes his tears with his free hand, but they keep pouring. Why can't he stop _sobbing_?

"But I'll only be a b-burden to you. You can't just risk throwing your _own_ career away for m-me…"

"Oh my god, Austin! Have you forgotten how many times _you've_ risked your career for me? Remember Miami 'h8ter' girl? Remember your first magazine cover? Remember when you tried to get Jimmy to sign me instead because he couldn't accept both of us? And remember the one time you actually _did_ lose your career? Let me do the same for you. You won't be a burden, Austin. You're more important to me than all of this."

He does remember. But this is different. He's _blind_.

"How can you be so sure? How can you be sure that you'll be able to handle it, because I might have to rely on you most of the time for the _rest of our lives_ , and you might get frustrated, and, and-"

"I can't be certain that we won't have our fights, but you have to trust me on this. Besides, our love is stronger than that. And you know you'd be doing the same thing if I were in your position."

He stays silent. But he knows she's right. If she was becoming blind, he wouldn't leave her side.

"Please, Austin," she grips onto his other hand, squeezing that one firmly, "I still love you. We can work this out. You, me, also Dez and Trish. The four of us can get through this together."

There's a long pause before, "I-I…you heard me before, I still love you too, Ally. And I trust you. T-Take me back?"

He knows that they're okay when he's then pulled into a hug. A warm feeling spreads through him, and a small grin appears on his face. He misses this.

He pulls her even closer to him, trying to soak in every fibre of her being. They stay like that for a while, before Ally moves away from him. He almost groans at the widened distance, but then he feels her hand move to the back of his neck, and her lips crash into his. Their lips move together in perfect sync creating a beautiful dance, and he can taste the hint of saltiness, not quite sure whether they're from the tears leaking down his face, or from hers, or both.

Eventually running out of breath, they pull apart, leaning their foreheads against each other. He closes his eyes as he cups her face, before he begins tracing over her delicate features; he feels her round eyes, her button nose, her soft lips.

An image of _his_ Ally appears in his mind.

He sighs in content, knowing that she's the only source of light he truly needs to brighten up his life.

* * *

 **A/N: (let me add at the end + Dez and Trish because he needs them too!) I hope I didn't disappoint anyone; I had quite some trouble with the end. Though I'm still proud of this story, haha.**

 **Thank you for anyone who stopped by to read this story, and extra thanks to those who commented/favourited/followed! :)**

 **Yeah, also, talk to me on twitter, rnoonlights (I swear I'm super nice; I'm just also...awkward, haha)**

 **A &A's ending (let me get some trishues!), but hopefully this isn't the last time you see me publishing a story in this fandom :) Most likely will try sometime after the A&A finale, which I am NOT ready for (okay, no one is)!**

 **Bye for now though,**

 **Helene**


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